Saturday, 27 October 2012

Cockneys Vs Zombies review (minor spoilers)


Director: Matthias Hoene           Screenwriters: James Moran, Lucas Roche
Cast: Rasmus Hardiker, Harry Treadaway, Michelle Ryan, Alan Ford, Honor Blackman, Richard Briers

Plot: When their beloved Grandad's old folk's home faces closure, brothers Andy and Terry decide to rob a bank to get the cash to save it. Little do they know, though, a couple of inept construction workers have found a cursed tomb that unleashes a zombie plague that soon makes its way through London. Eventually, the brothers have to make their way across town to rescue their grandad and the near-dead from the undead.

Review: Let's get it out of the way from the off- Cockneys Vs Zombies is a bloody stupid title. It's one of those titles that makes you roll your eyes and instantly think the film that follows is a crappy spoof or laugh-free 'comedy'. The fart joke that hits at the two minute mark does very little to quench those fears but once a dude gets his bottom lip ripped off three minutes later, you realise just what kind of ride you are in for.  Hardiker and Treadaway play the brothers and quite good they are too. Hardiker is Terry, the smart one and Treadaway is Andy, the not so smart hot-head and they are joined by one time Doctor Who ‘companion’ Ryan as their sexy and smarter cousin Katy. The real stars of the show, though are the OAPs which includes former Bond Girl Blackman and UK TV comedy legend Richard Briers who very nearly steals the show as Hamish. Especially when he is involved in the slowest chase scene ever committed to film complete with action music.

There are problems, of course, a couple of the emotional beats don't hit and there are two, count 'em, two potential antagonists that basically go nowhere and are dispatched quite quickly. This means whatever tension there may be vanishes early on as it really just becomes 'kill the zombies'. Some good ideas fall flat (a character has a steel plate in his head.....) and a romance comes out of nowhere towards the end but I'm willing to give it a pass for being so fun. Especially the scenes at the retirement home, they are a blast. Also, it’s as subtle as drop-kicking a zombie baby that hits a ‘stop child abuse’ billboard but it has enough funny moments to keep you going for 88 minutes. Like the aforementioned zombie baby abuse.

Conclusion: A fun and at times bloody low budget Brit-flick that has some great tongue in cheek performances, Cockney Vs Zombies while not quite up to the likes of Shaun of the Dead is still worth a watch. Sadly, like Attack the Block before it, people avoided this at UK cinemas but hopefully, like the aforementioned Muggers Vs Aliens film, this will fair a bit better on DVD/Blu Ray.

3/5

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